Sunday Side Quest #33

Not Sure

So, I absolutely love telling silly stories that have happened to me. Recently one of the most hilarious things turned into an unlikely friendship.

Picture this if you will. Sitting in a café and across from you are a girl and a boy sitting and talking. You make note of them but you don’t really pay attention. Every now and then you overhear snippets when your headphones come out and you go to get a refill. It is not unheard of event in my favorite café. People come in, they chat, you leave them alone. Most of the time this is the case when it comes to a couple sitting and chatting in a booth. Last night was not the case.

The woman that was sitting in the booth showed up about a half hour after the man. We’ll call him Cory and we’ll call her Mary. Cory had been sitting and working on either homework or some other official looking items. The only reason I noticed is that he asked me a couple questions about the café. He had never been there before and he was slightly lost on where the bathroom was and what the wifi password was. Typical questions and small talk ensued before I went back to my work.

Mary walked in and to my surprise, she actually went to school with a friend of mine that I was sitting and chatting with. They said hello, I smiled at her, took note of her and then went back to what I was doing while Mary sat down with Cory. Now, I am not someone that likes to dig into people’s business without permission. Yes, I’m friendly but I wasn’t really paying attention to the two of them. Only here and there I picked up pieces of some kind of conversation about accounting. I figured with the way it was going and the nervous or perhaps distant way Mary was acting that this was a job interview (not unheard of, I’ve seen it at the café before)

The evening presses on and they are there for a couple of hours. I ignore the majority of what is going on with them, but I can tell as I glance over that it is still almost a strained or awkward situation. I feel bad for Mary thinking her job interview is going badly. I don’t say anything and keep to myself. A few minutes later I find myself sitting alone as my friend had stepped away. My headset was not back on and I suddenly overheard Cory talking about how he has tension in his shoulders, of course, my idiotic brain goes ‘why is he talking about his aching shoulders in a job interview’ and I tune in. Whoops.

I tune in long enough to hear him talk about how his shoulders hurt and he’d really love it if he had someone to rub them after a hard day of work. Now it is getting SUPER awkward and I just cannot look away from the train wreck that I assume is a job interview still. Mary, to her credit, simply gives him recommendations of items he could use to massage his own shoulders or medication to stop the ache. She then mentions a foam roller that he can lay down and roll across. He then makes the comment ‘Well wouldn’t I just look silly laying on the ground rolling up and down that thing’ and I find myself completely confused. I silently think ‘What in the hell, man?’ …only I wasn’t silent.

I accidentally spoke my thought out loud. I suddenly have the irritated attention of Cory and the roaring laughter of Mary following. I am red as I can get and apologize, turning my eyes down to my computer and just wanting the ground to swallow me whole. I try my best to ignore them so they will ignore me again but all I can hear is Mary still laughing before she literally tells the guy it’s late and she needs to go. They end their encounter and he leaves. I am still mortified, I look up to apologize again.

“Thanks for saving me from that awful date,” Mary says to me. I am stunned. The job interview like situation was a FIRST DATE and my awkward shout-out was the exact thing she needed to break the conversation long enough to say goodbye. I couldn’t help but laugh. Mary and I talked about the date and how bad it must have been. We talked a little more about life and how hard it is to find a loved one. I told her that while I was a complete stranger I just wanted to give her one nugget of thought. I told her to marry her best friend and that settling for anything less is below her. She smiled at me, said that that is exactly what she needed to hear and we exchanged numbers.

So, in conclusion: I accidentally crashed one of the most awkward dates ever and gained a new friend. GO ME!

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